Well hello chums, we are now 7/12ths of the way through 2019.
5/12ths until Santa squeezes his fat white rear-end down several million chimneys.
But have no fear, he’ll be back. I just hope you will have been good all year.
If you are in the trade, that means not issuing C1’s and C2’s where not appropriate on inspection reports. Remember this is a service to the public, and a C1 or C2 means an “Unsatisfactory” so let’s be sensible about this. For example, I have seen a C1 attributed to an installation for asbestos in a fuseholder. Now this may be potentially lethal to health I agree, but it doesn’t have any impact on electrical safety whatsoever so this can NOT be a Fail (you can deal with the asbestos issue separately, by bagging-up for instance). Some of your customers are really struggling to make ends meet, they could do without having to deal with this sort of crap. So please behave with integrity.
Electrical Inspection and Testing should be a service to ensure safety of installations, not an excuse to rip-off. If any of my readers feel they may have been misled in this way please drop me a line. I require no payment for simple advice.
On my travels this month I have been to Witney, Sidcup, Greenwich, Swanley, Westminster, Bletchley and Ebbw Vale.
Quote of the month goes to a student on a PAT course: “Do we have the practice exam before the real one?”
As regular readers will be aware, I always like to have charitable spot on my blog but as the Eco’s have determined that the world will end in twelve years time there doesn’t seem much point.
Nevertheless, when the weather clears up I hope to go for a spin on my motorbike, I suppose I had better make the most of it before the sky collapses and the world grinds to a halt. Seriously though, I do recognise that we have to keep an eye on pollution. However, I strongly disagree that our children should be traumatised by doom-sayers (for God’s sake let them have a childhood). We have teachers even in Primary Schools preaching that the end is nigh to very young children. No wonder the suicide rate amongst teenagers it at an all-time high.
Climate change is a subject not entirely proven (satellite data for the last 24 years shows an average increase of 0.095 degrees Celsius). And I have said it before but I’ll risk saying it again: Do the Eco’s think it normal for a planet to retain the same temperature over Millenia? If you ask them about Continental Drift they go strangely quiet.
So don’t start me off, (Oh Christ, says Ted Voice Number 2, now he’s bloody started) why is it ordinary, working class people don’t need to find a “raison d’etre” like Pollution/Nukes/Save the Gay Whales? I’ll tell you why, we’re too bloody busy working to worry about such nonsense. And I’ll tell you another thing (Voice No 2 – Gawd must you?) at the recent demonstrations in London you’ll find these were the same bunch of nerks that were at Greenham Common and every other protest before/since, the only difference is they’ve been joined by their brainwashed and/or petrified kids.
Voice No 2 – Right have you finished now?
Ted Voice 1 – Yes
Voice No 2 – Do you feel better for that?
Ted Voice 1 – No, I’ve got a n’eadache
Voice No 2 – Right Ted, usual procedure then. Go and have brisk rub down with a copy of “The Sporting Life”, take 2 paracetamol and a double ration of old gut-churners whisky. That’ll sort you out.
Ted Voice 1 – ok, I’m gonna have a lay down now.
Voice No 2 - Right, that’s got rid of him so I’ll take over the show.
Ok then folks, you now have Ted Voice No 2 to take you through this month’s edition. I am Ted’s Right Brain, so I am more artistic rather than my practical Left brain.
I am the part of Ted’s personality that wants to search for lost cities in the Amazon and dig up Caribbean islands for pirate gold. I hoped and prayed that the Titanic was in one piece so it might have been possible for her to be raised.
I am a dreamer and romantic with a touch of Engineer. By the way, did you know that the word “Engineer” comes from the French “Ingenieur”? in other words, a person who is good at finding ingenious solutions.
Now see what you get by reading my blog, you can drop that in at a dinner party along with the odd “That’s an interesting concept” and appear to be mildly intelligent. That’s what I’ve been doing for years anyway.
In closing, don’t forget to tune in next month and in the immortal words of Sergeant Dixon of Dock Green – “Evening all” (those old enough to remember are probably humming the tune right now).