Ok Folks
here we go again (wasn’t that Archie Belle and the Drelles or something like
that?) Anyway, its
funky, its weird, its off the wall, its Teddy Barrett’s Blog – The June
Edition. So where
have I been this month? For the first two weeks back in Spain. Santa Susanna to
be precise. We like Santa Susanna because it isn’t too tourist-like and enjoys
great weather. We will either drive down through France to get there or take
the ferry to Bilbao and drive across Spain (about 450 miles). I’ve heard
some people say it can take them 24 hours to “decompress” when arriving at
their holiday destination before they can relax. After some of the jerks I have
had to deal with I can appreciate that, but nowadays I’m about as decompressed
as can be after a paella and a vino tinto. Tie that in with a few Cuba Libres
and I can be very decompressed. Chuck in a couple of Grand Marniers and I can
be so flat you can just slide me under the door to my room. Anyway, returning
to the UK I have been to Sawston (Cambridgeshire), Truro, Romford (x2) and back to
Witney again. Got a while
back home now before returning to Spain in a month or so’s time. Trouble is it
can get so bloody hot at this time of year that we go a bit further North to
Estartit but that’s another story. As this
supposed to be primarily an account of my adventures in Electrical Engineering,
how about this from an attendee at a recent course: “Why do I need a Safe
Isolation course? I test if the supply is off or not with my finger”! Apart from
nerks like this, and generally speaking. I prefer the clientele I deal with these
days as I am mostly training mature students who really do want to learn, rather
than apprentices who would prefer to stab and shoot me. But
sometimes prats do still emerge (as illustrated above). I also had two guys on
a maintenance course recently who simply could not take on any new concept or
idea. From my earlier experiences in further education, I could tell that they
were brain-damaged from smoking “Skunk” but I elected to tell the employer they
were “working at the edge of their ability” and I could not recommend any
further training for them at this point in time. See, I can be diplomatic if I
choose. Before
moving on from this theme I must tell you about the session I once did with
apprentices at Oxford College on Hysteresis and Magnetism. After about an hour
of working through the subject and explaining the idea with illustrations and
examples one guy at the front of the class looked up at me and said “You’re making
that up”. So I shot him, stabbed him, cut him into little pieces, set fire to
the bits and danced on them. In reality,
I just said “You dick. I can’t wait until next week when I meet with your boss for
your appraisal and ask him why you are still here or if you are just a figment
of my imagination”. I very often
get invited to run training courses in Qatar or Saudi etc. Let’s just say I
don’t feel the appeal of this at the moment (running hand round neck). I’ve had
some enquiries from other parts of the world though which might be of more
interest. Talking of
other parts of the world, I always think that stateside single phase colours
are quite logical: Black is Live, cos the bad guy always wore black. White is
Neutral, because white is neutral, not a colour, and of course, Green is Earth.
What I don’t get is why their 3-phase colours are Red, Black and Blue?, if
anyone can enlighten me please drop me a line. No more of
“Ted’s Rules” this month. By now you must be well aware that I have no time for
bullshitters, liars or just plain dickheads so ‘nuff said for the moment. My “Person
of Merit” this month is Paul Gallagher the local NICEIC inspector for
Oxfordshire and environs. I first met Paul as a lecturer at Oxford College of
Further Education when I was a student (mature) and I was studying for my “C”
certificate. Paul always struck we as being very proficient in his chosen field
but more than that, as a man of integrity. He was always very even-handed in
his approach and my spies in the field tell me that as an NICEIC inspector he
remains the same. I have had cause to consult him on occasion and he is always
ready to help if he can. Cheers Paul, I’ll raise a dram in your honour. My brickbat
of the month goes to bullshitters and liars everywhere, you know who you are.
And you know that if you have crossed me, I will trip you up whenever I can –
if it takes decades or longer (see my Family page). In closing
for June, I will only quote Bill & Ted – “Be excellent to each other”. |
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